9 Things I’ve Learned About Introspection
Throughout my life, I’ve had a lot of time to myself. Just me alone with my thoughts. I was an only child with a room of my own. I was a competitive swimmer, spending hours at a time with my head submerged, just thinking and swimming. I went to a college that prescribed hundreds of pages of reading in ancient texts daily, which inevitably would lead my mind to wander. I lived alone for years in an apartment with no furniture or bed; only books, and a meditation corner with swords and a yoga mat. My journey has had a lot of peaks and valleys but the most powerful practice to bring me back to a place of constructive clarity and optimistic fortitude has been INTROSPECTION — the act of observing and exploring one’s innermost thoughts.
Here are 9 things I’ve learned about introspection:
1. There’s no one “best” or “right” way to do it, and there are so many ways to do it. You can meditate, you can journal, you can go running, you can go for a walk, you can surf, you can do yoga, you can take a bath, you can swim, you can take psychedelics, you can pray, you can fold laundry. There’s also no “right” frequency or intensity: a daily 5 minute journaling practice or a 10-day silent meditation retreat can both be beneficial. Everyone wants you to think that their way is best, but the best method is the one that feels right, gives you clarity, and helps you reconnect to your truth.
2. Introspection doesn’t have to happen in a vacuum. For many the idea of introspection sparks an image of a person alone meditating or journaling, with no inputs or distractions. Solitary introspection can be very generative. But you know what else can be generative? Facilitated introspection. Therapy, coaching, journaling in response to prompts, even just reading! If you take the time to slow down when you’re reading, the text can often occupy your conscious mind enough for deeper thoughts to bubble up to the surface.
3. You can “meditate” anywhere. When I became a parent, I’d sometimes find myself feeling frustrated that I didn’t have as much time to myself to be in touch with my thoughts. But then I discovered that washing dishes can be meditative, that folding laundry can be meditative, that going on a walk with my son can be meditative.
4. Introspection doesn’t have to generate an outcome. I used to judge the worth of an introspective session on whether I had tangible, clear, articulable takeaways coming out of it. But going into the act of introspetion expecting an outcome led me to miss the point entirely. The act of introspecting is an act of pure exploration, and the foremost priority is to be present with your thoughts; extractable insights are just a byproduct of such journeying.
5. Sometimes introspection is comfortable, sometimes it’s terribly uncomfortable. Sometimes after a long day of work or a weekend of wonderful parenting chaos, it just feels nice to go for a jog or sit with a journal and get a handle on my thoughts — it’s reassuring, and the clarity gives me comfort. But other times introspection can be deeply uncomfortable. Once when meditating in a Zen dojo I had a vision of myself dying and saw all the things I regretted about how I’d lived my life. Another time at an Anthony Robbins seminar I was led through an exercise where I was instructed to imagine and feel how awful it would be if I continued to live for the next 20 years without changing my most self-destructive habits. Another time while staring into my infant son’s eyes, it became clear to me that I needed to kill parts of my ego-self in order to be the father and partner that my family deserved, and to become the man I knew I could be. All terribly uncomfortable introspection experiences — that completely changed my life because I leaned into the discomfort and listened to the signals.
6. There are activities that get in the way of introspection. Social media scrolling, television, binge eating, drug abuse. Anything that’s addictive, pulls your consciousness away from that which matters most to you, alters your behavior, makes you think less clearly. That said, engaging in these activities often can produce an after-effect that makes you look at your life with more seriousness. Some of my most powerful thoughts about how I want to live and how I don’t want to live happened whilst hungover in college.
7. A lack of introspection may be the biggest reason for society’s ills. How many people live their lives numb, trapped on a corporate hamster-wheel, or stuck in a web of unfulfilling relationships, afraid to speak their mind, state their needs, or change their circumstances? How many high-performers give their ideals and personal ethics so little attention that by the time they end up in positions of influence they don’t have the balls or clarity to make decisions with moral courage? How many students are discouraged from asking “why”, punished for raising their hand with a wrong answer, and are taught only to the test, so they can be put on the same treadmill as everyone else around them, all the while never encouraged to look inward? Imagine if everyone from a young age would take a few minutes a day to really ask themselves “what do I value? Who do I admire and why? How do I want to behave? Who do I want to become? What might I want to change about myself, my thoughts, my behaviours to live with more integrity?”
8. There are no “guru” figures. If someone tells you they’re a guru or an expert with all the answers you need, be very skeptical. They’re probably trying to make money off of you. The wisest people who’ve done the most work on themselves are fast to admit that they don’t have all the answers. The best “guru” is the one who encourages you to become your own master.
9. It’s never too late to start being more intentionally introspective. You don’t need to self-identify as a “deep” or “spiritual” person to get immense value from stepping up onto your mental balcony now and then.
If you’ve never been the kind of person to go deep with yourself, or if you’re afraid to open the door to uncomfortable thoughts you know are hiding, an easy way to get started is through “guided journaling.” If that interests you, join a community of sojourners who gather to participate in in-real-time facilitated journaling experiences focused on important life themes at bravespace.community.
